Writing My Way Through Imposter Syndrome
…Part of my weekly series Sunshine with A Slant: Inspiration and Introspection…
As I’ve shared before, I am fairly new to this whole writing thing. I should rephrase that. I am fairly new at openly talking about myself as a writer. The desire to be one has always been there. The person who wrote in a million composition books and read constantly was there. I just did not really talk about it, think of it as a part of me, or actively pursue it. Covid quarantine gave me the time to take this hidden dream and dust it off the shelf. See if there is anything there. Amber Petty’s class was integral to this process. Partly because of its newer place in my life and partly because any art creation process is scary, writing has brought out my old friend the imposter syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is defined by Oxford language dictionary as “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.” I define it as thinking I somehow lucked my way to the top and at any moment people will unmask me as the fraud I am. Imposter syndrome was first described by psychologists Suzanne Imes, PhD, and Pauline Rose Clance, PhD, in the 1970s. Overachievers, women, and perfectionists are known to be especially susceptible to this.
How it Impacts My Writing . . .
Recently I am working on a new piece that really excites me. It’s full of glorious, nerdy, obscure historical facts that I love. When my pitch was first accepted, I was happy but a tiny nagging voice inside me said: “You can’t actually do this you know? You fooled them with that pitch but writing the actual article? HA!” Man that tiny inner voice really sometimes sucks. Suddenly a motion picture of every person who ever told me I was not good enough runs through my head. Images of my AP English teacher who wrote me perhaps the worst college recommendation letter, a college English professor who told me to visit the remedial writing center, and lastly my own inner voice personified telling me I have nothing interesting or unique to say. It is funny how the positive memories do not show as easily. Why can’t I remember my fourth grade teacher saying I wrote the best story she had ever had a fourth grader write instead?
How I Combat It . . .
When faced with my imposter syndrome feelings, I have learned to manage it by telling my tiny, nagging voice thank you for the feedback but I am going to do this writing thing anyways. Some days I can turn it off quickly and go on to a productive writing session. Other days I have to clean my room, play with my cat, talk the dog on walk, work out or meditate first.
Another habit that helps combat imposter syndrome is morning pages. It’s from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. You write three pages first thing every morning. It does not matter what you write but just that you write. The act of forcing yourself to write three pages cleanses you of whatever you are holding inside of you. I find it really helpful even if I am not always the best at remembering to consistently do it.
My last tip for fighting imposter syndrome is to talk about it. Talk to a friend, mentor, or family member. Imposter syndrome is based on secrecy and isolation so by admitting you have it, it loses some of its power. That was my inspiration for writing this. Maybe someone out there also struggles with this and will know they are not alone. Do you struggle with imposter syndrome?
Need More Inspiration?
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